From Survivor to Advisor ...
was just like you not that long ago.
I was a relationship mess. Yep – I survived some difficult
relationships myself. From living through childhood sexual abuse, to
surviving a difficult divorce after a 23 year marriage, to working for
some nasty bosses, and even nearly taking my own life due to a
depression that felt endless. I had to hit rock bottom before I could
come up. What was the key that finally helped me realize how to get out
of my predicament? That I was the common denominator in all my
relationships! And I finally came to grips with what I was doing wrong
and starting doing things right!
I learned that the most difficult relationship I had,
was the one I had with myself.
The changes I made in my life were incredible
and from there, everyone
wanted to know how I did it – how I went from the edge of being a
relationship mess to someone who is so “out of her Boxx” that she now
helps others heal and grow as well.
Actually, I had a
rather unusual epiphany that led to my changes.
During the middle of my
divorce, when I felt so lost and alone, I actually “ran away from home”
to live and work in Cozumel, Mexico for the most amazing six months of
my life! Not only did I hide and heal, but when vacationing American
women befriended me (I was a hotel concierge) and asked me what the heck
I was doing there and I told them, they would say, “You’re my hero!” And
then they would start telling me their own stories. And guess what? I
discovered a pretty strong behavior pattern that sent me researching
this phenomenon even more.
Why were there so
many unhappy, dissatisfied, miserably frustrated women,
I asked myself. I thought I was the only one filled with emotional
confusion, low self-esteem issues, and darkly depressed about my
relationships. And yet, here I was, surrounded by others in the same
boat. I knew I had to heal and help others heal as well. Thus began my
To add to my own experience, I interviewed countless people
the country about their relationships. And I discovered what people will
tell a total stranger about their personal lives is absolutely
astounding! (Especially when they just get to talk openly and aren’t
filling out some limited survey.) Even more interesting is that they
told me things that they wouldn’t even tell their therapists! I got
information that sometimes confirmed some of what I thought, some that
surprised me, and some that downright shocked me. And the two most
important pieces I discovered or confirmed were these:
Most of us tend to repeat our relationship patterns and behaviors
over and over again, even when they continue to prove unsuccessful.
And just like me, they found that
the most difficult relationship that most of us have,
is the one we have with ourselves.
Since coming out of
the darkness myself, I’ve written four successful relationship books
and have been quoted as a relationship expert in radio, on TV, and in
around the world. I led a support group outside of Denver for people in
difficult relationships. I founded and facilitate Denver’s BEST Dating,
Mating, and Relating MeetUp Group. I currently write a regular column about “Living out of the
Boxx” for two newspapers. (In my book, Get Out of Your Boxx, I define a
“boxx” as a behavioral pattern that holds us back from being the best we
can be.) I give speeches and workshops to help people discover more
about themselves and what they’re missing in life.
With my nursing
education and comfort with the human body, I teach people about
their sexuality and how to be more comfortable and satisfied with their
intimate relationships. My work has been translated into other
languages, which is always pretty fun to see. And I’ve won awards for my
books and am now writing screenplays to help spread my message to a
I’m a different kind of expert …
I’m not a therapist, nor do I have training as a life coach. I do not
have a PhD in psychology. I am not a physician, a social worker, or a
professor. While I am a master’s level prepared nurse (which does give
me a certain comfort with and knowledge about humans in general), it is
not my advanced degree that has taught me any of what I intend to share
with you here.
The best part is that I consult with people in the United States and
abroad about their relationship issues. All types of relationship
issues. From intimate relationships, to workplace problems, to dealing
with controlling family members; the ingredients are all the same. I
even have a client in Canada who has hired me to help educate the legal
system there as it pertains to the emotional duress created for
divorcing parents and child custody, as parents and families are drug
through the frustrating and difficult legal battlegrounds and oftentimes
left emotional wrecks as a result.
In addition, I have discovered that many prefer to learn from someone who’s “been there,
done that” versus someone who has learned about relationships from text
books and clinical settings, yet who don’t generally share their
personal stories with their clients.
want to learn from survivors; those who
have “been there, done that,” who have been at the lowest depths and
have not only discovered how to live a better life but how to help guide
others along their proven path as well. They don’t want to be guided by
someone who has studied alcoholism and addiction and then decided to
become a group leader! There’s simply something about following someone
who can show you the steps first-hand instead of having to learn
everything for yourself that makes the journey so much easier.
There’s something about being a survivor that others want to
emulate. Clients love the fact
that I never ask them, “And how do you feel about that?” (To the
relief of most, since more than likely they already have a pretty good
idea about how they “feel about that!”)
If you’re ready to make some serious changes in your life …
If you’d like to work with a mentor who can save you some of the time
and trouble of discovering this path yourself …
If you’re ready to take your life back
and get the relationships you
deserve in life ...
you're sick and tired of therapists always asking, "And how do you feel
about that?" and you want some concrete tools to help you heal ...
It’s time we met.
Call or drop me an email.
Email Mary Jo
"You too can overcome any obstacle in your way!
I never used to dream I could do this, but I did it too!"