"I understand, I've been there"


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From Survivor to Advisor ...

I was just like you not that long ago. I was a relationship mess. Yep – I survived some difficult relationships myself. From living through childhood sexual abuse, to surviving a difficult divorce after a 23 year marriage, to working for some nasty bosses, and even nearly taking my own life due to a depression that felt endless. I had to hit rock bottom before I could come up. What was the key that finally helped me realize how to get out of my predicament? That I was the common denominator in all my relationships! And I finally came to grips with what I was doing wrong and starting doing things right!

More importantly,
I learned that the most difficult relationship I had,
was the one I had with myself.

The changes I made in my life were incredible and from there, everyone wanted to know how I did it – how I went from the edge of being a relationship mess to someone who is so “out of her Boxx” that she now helps others heal and grow as well.

Actually, I had a rather unusual epiphany that led to my changes. During the middle of my divorce, when I felt so lost and alone, I actually “ran away from home” to live and work in Cozumel, Mexico for the most amazing six months of my life! Not only did I hide and heal, but when vacationing American women befriended me (I was a hotel concierge) and asked me what the heck I was doing there and I told them, they would say, “You’re my hero!” And then they would start telling me their own stories. And guess what? I discovered a pretty strong behavior pattern that sent me researching this phenomenon even more.

Why were there so many unhappy, dissatisfied, miserably frustrated women, I asked myself. I thought I was the only one filled with emotional confusion, low self-esteem issues, and darkly depressed about my relationships. And yet, here I was, surrounded by others in the same boat. I knew I had to heal and help others heal as well. Thus began my journey …

To add to my own experience, I interviewed countless people across the country about their relationships. And I discovered what people will tell a total stranger about their personal lives is absolutely astounding! (Especially when they just get to talk openly and aren’t filling out some limited survey.) Even more interesting is that they told me things that they wouldn’t even tell their therapists! I got information that sometimes confirmed some of what I thought, some that surprised me, and some that downright shocked me. And the two most important pieces I discovered or confirmed were these:


Most of us tend to repeat our relationship patterns and behaviors over and over again, even when they continue to prove unsuccessful.

And just like me, they found that the most difficult relationship that most of us have, is the one we have with ourselves.

Since coming out of the darkness myself, I’ve written four successful relationship books and have been quoted as a relationship expert in radio, on TV, and in print around the world. I led a support group outside of Denver for people in difficult relationships. I founded and facilitate Denver’s BEST Dating, Mating, and Relating MeetUp Group. I currently write a regular column about “Living out of the Boxx” for two newspapers. (In my book, Get Out of Your Boxx, I define a “boxx” as a behavioral pattern that holds us back from being the best we can be.) I give speeches and workshops to help people discover more about themselves and what they’re missing in life.  

With my nursing education and comfort with the human body, I teach people about their sexuality and how to be more comfortable and satisfied with their intimate relationships. My work has been translated into other languages, which is always pretty fun to see. And I’ve won awards for my books and am now writing screenplays to help spread my message to a wider audience.

I’m a different kind of expert … I’m not a therapist, nor do I have training as a life coach. I do not have a PhD in psychology. I am not a physician, a social worker, or a professor. While I am a master’s level prepared nurse (which does give me a certain comfort with and knowledge about humans in general), it is not my advanced degree that has taught me any of what I intend to share with you here.

The best part is that I consult with people in the United States and abroad about their relationship issues. All types of relationship issues. From intimate relationships, to workplace problems, to dealing with controlling family members; the ingredients are all the same. I even have a client in Canada who has hired me to help educate the legal system there as it pertains to the emotional duress created for divorcing parents and child custody, as parents and families are drug through the frustrating and difficult legal battlegrounds and oftentimes left emotional wrecks as a result.

In addition, I have discovered that many prefer to learn from someone who’s “been there, done that” versus someone who has learned about relationships from text books and clinical settings, yet who don’t generally share their personal stories with their clients.


People want to learn from survivors; those who have “been there, done that,” who have been at the lowest depths and have not only discovered how to live a better life but how to help guide others along their proven path as well. They don’t want to be guided by someone who has studied alcoholism and addiction and then decided to become a group leader! There’s simply something about following someone who can show you the steps first-hand instead of having to learn everything for yourself that makes the journey so much easier.

There’s something about being a survivor that others want to emulate. Clients love the fact that I never ask them, “And how do you feel about that?” (To the relief of most, since more than likely they already have a pretty good idea about how they “feel about that!”)

If you’re ready to make some serious changes in your life …

If you’d like to work with a mentor who can save you some of the time and trouble of discovering this path yourself …

If you’re ready to take your life back and get the relationships you deserve in life ...

If you're sick and tired of therapists always asking, "And how do you feel about that?" and you want some concrete tools to help you heal ...

It’s time we met.  Call or drop me an email.
Let’s get started!         303-841-7691    

   Email Mary Jo

"You too can overcome any obstacle in your way!
I never used to dream I could do this, but I did it too!"

 

 
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